Alert: Ben Carson got stuck in a public housing elevator on Scream XXX Parody PornWednesday in Miami.

Firefighters had to rescue him so he could then meet with former Miami Heat star Alonzo Mourning.

None of this is close to anything I ever thought I'd type. Two years ago, these sentences would hardly be coherent. But here we are, and there's video (set to "Veep" credit music).

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Hopefully his meeting with Mourning was on the ground floor somewhere.